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Best speed bump
Wilson Avenue just west of the Chicago River You are cruising on a long stretch of open road, just west of three brutal stoplights at Wilson, Lincoln and Western. Picking up speed, you glance out the window at the North Branch of the Chicago River. Sometimes you see boats, sometimes wildlife, but you always end up staring at the beautiful houses, decks and foliage on the riverfront. Then you hit one of about five actual hills in Chicago. Going downhill, radio blasting, looking forward to getting home, you hear a sick, screeching, crunching sound. Before you can slam on the brakes, you are catapulted forward. Your car flies up and like a scene from the movie “Bullitt,” it slams along the pavement and sparks fly from your undercarriage. Your head bangs off of the ceiling. Transmissions knock, brakes lock and your engine light starts flashing. Looking backward you see a three-foot speed bump at the very bottom of the hill. You can’t spot it when you are driving because the white stripes on the black asphalt have been obliterated by the scars from the hundreds of muffler pipes and oil pans it has ruined. Including yours.
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Best of Chicago 2005 was written by Dave Chamberlain, Brian Hieggelke, Melissa Lane, Tom Lynch, Ray Pride, David Witter, Michael Workman
With additional contributions by Mike Barr, Ted C. Fishman, Jessica Herman, Adrienne Hill, Mary Susan Littlepage, Nina Metz, Kathy O¹Neill, Trish Smith
Copyright
Newcity Communications, Inc.
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